1) Foundations
1.1 What is Pitṛ-Pakṣa?
Pitṛ-Pakṣa is the lunar fortnight (15 tithis ending in Amāvasyā) devoted to remembering and satisfying the Pitṛs (ancestors). It’s held that Pitṛs descend from Pitṛ-loka to accept offerings. Performing rites in this window supports śānti (peace), saṁriddhi (prosperity), and gṛha-kṣema (household well-being).
1.2 Why perform Shrāddha–Tarpana?
Dharma & Pitṛ-ṛṇa (ancestral debt): Repaying gratitude to those who gave us life and lineage.
Anugraha (blessings): Tradition holds that sincere offerings foster growth, harmony, and peace.
Reach even after rebirth: Even if a jīva has reincarnated, the merit (puṇya) of Shrāddha is believed to benefit them.
1.3 Shrāddha vs. Tarpana (clear distinction)
Tarpana: Water-based oblations with tila (black sesame), darbha/kuśa, and mantra for Pitṛ-tr̥pti (satisfaction).
Shrāddha: The full rite—Sankalpa → Tarpana → Piṇḍa-dāna (rice/til/ghee balls) → Bhojana/dakṣiṇā to Brāhmaṇas (or genuine needy) → Viśarjana.
For an elder brother with no children: Younger brother/nephews can perform both (Shrāddha + Tarpana).
2) Whom, When, and Who Performs
2.1 For whom is Piṇḍa-Dāna/Tarpana done?
Standard: Last three generations of the line (Pitā, Pitāmaha, Prapitāmaha; similarly for mothers where applicable).
If father is alive, he performs for his father/grandfather/great-grandfather.
2.2 Who has adhikāra (right) to perform?
Order of preference (common tradition):
Son → Grandson → Brother → Son-in-law → Other male agnates.
Women: While many śāstras give primacy to male heirs, Garuḍa Purāṇa recognizes that if no male heir is present, daughters or widows can perform Tarpana, which is valid for Pitṛ-tr̥pti.
2.3 Exact day (Tithi) vs date
Perform on the Tithi (lunar day) of death, not the cremation day.
If several relatives passed on different tithis, each is honored on their tithi.
Don’t know the tithi? Do it on Mahalaya Amāvasyā (Sarva-Pitṛ Amāvasyā), the last day of Pitṛ-Pakṣa.
3) Mahālaya & the Transition to Devī-Pakṣa
3.1 What is Mahālaya?
Final Amāvasyā of Pitṛ-Pakṣa, also called Sarva-Pitṛ Amāvasyā.
Those unsure of tithis perform a composite offering on this day.
Marks the onset of Devī-Pakṣa/Navarātri- Devi’s symbolic journey toward Earth.
3.2 What to do on Mahālaya (practical routine)
Brahma-muhūrta/sunrise bath; touch elders’ feet.
Śravaṇa of Devī-Māhātmya (Durgā Saptashatī).
Tarpana at a river/clean water body if feasible (Ganga ideal but not mandatory).
Finish remaining Navarātri preparations.
4) Full Ritual Playbook (Detailed How-To)
Note: Regional paramparās vary. If you have a family purohit/guru, follow that tradition first. Where unavailable, this is a practical, orthodox-friendly baseline.
4.1 Materials (Samagri) Checklist
Water (clean vessel or flowing water access)
Tila (black sesame)
Darbha/Kuśa grass (rings and small pieces)
Akṣata (unbroken rice mixed with turmeric or plain, per custom)
Piṇḍa items: Cooked rice (śāṣṭika/any), barley flour (optional), ghee, a little honey, tila; banana leaves or clean plates for placing piṇḍas
Panchapatra/udharani or any clean spoon/cup for water
Cloth/Āsana (preferably kusa mat or clean white cloth)
Sattvic bhojana to offer (kheer, khichdi, seasonal vegetables, puri/roti, dal, fruits)
Dakṣiṇā (and vastra/uttarīya if offering to priest)
Incense/deepa (optional; many traditions keep Shrāddha minimal)
Crow/animal feeding setup (as per family custom)
4.2 Personal Conduct (Vratāchāra)
Sāttvika āhāra: Avoid non-veg, alcohol, onion, garlic (see Q&A).
No hair cutting, shaving, or nail trimming during the 15 days; resume after Amāvasyā (see Q&A).
Maintain cleanliness, restraint, and truthfulness.
4.3 Orientation & Setup
Many traditions face South (direction of Pitṛs) for Tarpana; sitting on kuśa/white cloth.
Wear clean, modest attire; remove leather items.
4.4 Step-by-Step: Home/Temple Tarpana + Shrāddha
Ācamana & Sankalpa
Simple spoken intention is acceptable:
“Mama pitṛṇāṁ prītyarthaṁ, [Gotra & names if known], [Name]’s Shrāddha–Tarpanaṁ kariṣye.”
Tarpana
Make a kuśa ring on ring finger (right hand, per custom).
Mix water + tila; offer three or more libations per ancestor invoked, letting water flow from the hand (between thumb and fingers), facing South, with quiet remembrance of names/gotra.
Piṇḍa-dāna
Prepare piṇḍas (rice + tila + ghee; some add barley flour/honey).
Count varies by paramparā: 3 (for father, grandfather, great-grandfather) is common; some do 11 or 16.
Place respectfully; mentally offer to the invoked Pitṛs.
Bhojana/Dāna
Feed Brāhmaṇas (or genuinely needy) with sattvic food; give dakṣiṇā. Where no priest/needy available, donate groceries/food in Pitṛ-nāma.
Viśarjana & Prārthanā
Conclude with a prayer for Pitṛ-tr̥pti and loka-kalyāṇa.
Optional customs
Crow-bali (placing a small portion outdoors - crows symbolize Pitṛs in many regions).
Cow/dog/ant feeding (compassionate offerings).
4.5 Step-by-Step: Riverbank Method (quick field guide)
Choose a clean ghat; bathe hands/feet.
Sankalpa → Tarpana with tila-jala (facing South) → Piṇḍa-dāna on a clean leaf/plate → Immerse leftover respectfully → Dāna nearby (as feasible).
4.6 If you cannot perform full Shrāddha
Take a Sankalpa at home: “In the name of my Pitṛs, I shall do…”.
Do Tila-Tarpana simply with water and sesame.
Do Dāna/Anna-dāna; offer water to a Pīpal (Peepal) tree with remembrance.
Feed cows/birds/needy. Intent + purity matter.
5) Pitra-Doṣa: What rituals can/can’t do
Meaning 1 (our unfulfilled duties): Annual Shrāddha + consistent charity can reduce impact over time.
Meaning 2 (ancestors’ heavy negative karmas): Tarpana alone cannot erase; maintain satkarma, seva, vrata, and mantra-japa over the long term.
6) Food Rules & Menu Ideas (Sāttvika)
6.1 What to avoid (all 15 days; strictly on one’s Shrāddha tithi)
Non-veg, alcohol, onion, garlic (tamasic/rajasic).
Overly pungent/fermented items.
6.2 What to prefer
Kheer/Payasa, Khichdi, Simple dal, Lauki/Tori/Pumpkin preparations, Roti/Puri, Plain rice, Seasonal fruits.
No tasting while cooking (some traditions).
Keep the kitchen clean & quiet.
7) Do’s & Don’ts (Beyond Food)
Do’s
Observe cleanliness and restraint.
Respect elders and seek blessings.
Prefer simplicity, sincerity, and charity over show.
Don’ts
Weddings/housewarmings/new ventures are commonly avoided during Pitṛ-Pakṣa in many regions.
Haircut/shaving/nail-cutting to be avoided; resume after Amāvasyā.
Loud celebrations or frivolity on one’s Shrāddha tithi.
8) Special Places & Situations
8.1 Tīrthas
Gayā (Vishnupad), Haridwar, Prayagraj, Kashi, and coastal ghats are classic. Gayā Shrāddha is traditionally viewed as mahā-puṇya.
8.2 After Gayā Shrāddha (What to do next)
Offer dakṣiṇā & gratitude to priests, feed the needy, keep the day sattvic and calm.
Many observe that Gayā-śrāddha “settles” obligations - still, continue annual remembrance at home out of love and gratitude.
8.3 If living abroad / no access to river
Use a clean vessel at home for Tarpana; immersion not mandatory.
Dāna locally or online to trusted charities; kitchen-based piṇḍa-dāna is acceptable.
9) Women & Shrāddha (Traditional note + Practical path)
Traditional: Male heir leads.
When no male heir: Daughters/widows may perform Tarpana, valid for Pitṛ-tr̥pti.
Participation: Women commonly cook sattvic food, do dāna, recite stotras, and remember ancestors with devotion.
Customs around menstruation vary; most orthodox households postpone ritual handling to a later day or delegate - follow your family’s niyamas.
10) Extended Q&A (All the questions you listed - answered thoroughly)
Q1) “Is eating onion and garlic allowed during Shrāddha?”
Answer: Traditionally avoided throughout Pitṛ-Pakṣa; strictly prohibited on one’s Shrāddha tithi. Keep diet sāttvika - grains, dal, kheer, simple vegetables.
Q2) “If Father is reluctant (doesn’t believe), can the Son still do it? Better done than nothing?”
Answer: Yes. The son can and should perform Shrāddha/Tarpana for ancestors if the father declines. Faithful action is preferable to omission.
Q3) “I do Shrāddha for my dādī-sās & husband’s māsī; I donate to a gaushālā and give a grocery kit on Chaturdaśī Shrāddha. Anything else?”
Answer: Excellent. You can also:
Tila-Tarpana on their tithis.
Feed crows/cows/birds as per custom.
Offer water to a Peepal tree with remembrance.
Support girls’ education/elder care/food drives in their memory.
Read a stotra (e.g., Vishnu-sahasranāma, Durga-saptashatī portions, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam passages) dedicating merit to them.
Q4) “How to get physical consultation in Delhi?”
Answer: Contact nearby temples/dharmashālās, Gayā/Haridwar/Prayagraj pandits, or your family purohit. Ask specifically for “Pitṛ-Pakṣa Shrāddha–Tarpana” expertise. (No single central directory; lean on local temple networks.)
Q5) “Should people who have living parents do Tarpana?”
Answer: Yes, but not for their parents (since they are alive). You may perform for grandparents and prior ancestors (and other deceased relatives) as permitted in your paramparā.
Q6) “Which day to consider - death day or cremation day?”
Answer: Death Tithi (lunar day of passing) is used - not the cremation day.
Q7) “After Amāvasyā when can we cut nails and hair?”
Answer: After Sarva-Pitṛ Amāvasyā is over and Devī-Pakṣa/Navarātri begins, grooming may resume.
Q8) “Do we do Pitru-Tarpan for mother if mother is no more and father is alive?”
Answer: Yes. Shrāddha/Tarpana is done separately for each parent irrespective of the other’s status.
Q9) “Gayā Shrāddha karne ke baad kya karein?” (What to do after Gayā Shrāddha)
Answer: Santosh & śānti - accept blessings, give dakṣiṇā, keep sattvic conduct for the day, do anna-dāna if possible. Many continue annual at-home remembrance; Gayā-śrāddha is considered mahā-puṇya.
Q10) “If father doesn’t do Tarpana, what can one do in these 15 days? Anything related to Peepal tree?”
Answer: You (son/grandson/daughter if no male heir) can do Tila-Tarpana, Piṇḍa-dāna, Dāna. Offering water to Peepal with remembrance is auspicious; also feed cows/birds/needy.
Q11) “Difference between Shrāddha and Tarpan? For elder brother with no children?”
Answer: Tarpana = sesame-water libations. Shrāddha = full rite (Sankalpa → Tarpana → Piṇḍa → Dāna/Bhojana). If the elder brother has no children, younger brother or nephews should perform Shrāddha + Tarpana.
Q12) “Eating onion–garlic allowed in general during Pitṛ-Pakṣa?”
Answer: Most traditions avoid them all 15 days; at minimum, avoid on one’s Shrāddha tithi (the Punya Tithi).
11) Practical Edge-Cases & Clarifications
Unknown names/gotra: Offer with sincere intention, using generic invocations- “Mama Pitṛ-paryantānām sarveṣāṁ” (to all in the Pitṛ-line).
Multiple deaths close together: Observe each tithi; if impossible logistically, observe Mahalaya comprehensively with heartfelt dāna.
Number of piṇḍas: 3 is common (Pitā-Pitāmaha-Prapitāmaha); some paramparās use 11/16 - follow your family’s rule if known.
Direction: South is classic for Pitṛ-kārya; some regions do East - adhere to local guidance.
Mantras: If you don’t know them, simple remembrance + clear sankalpa suffices; it’s better than inaction.
Crow doesn’t come: Don’t worry - intent counts; proceed with dāna and prayer.
Health/constraints: If fasting is difficult, take simple sāttvika food - dharma is never about harming oneself.
Menstruation/ritual purity: Customs differ; many orthodox homes postpone or have another family member execute the rite.
12) A One-Page Action Checklist (Use on the day)
Sāttvika prep: Kitchen clean, onion-garlic off, menu set.
Samagri ready: Water, tila, kuśa, rice/ghee, plates/leaves, dakṣiṇā.
Sankalpa (state names/gotra/tithi if known).
Tarpana (tila-jala, facing South, remember names).
Piṇḍa-dāna (3/11/16 per custom).
Bhojana/Dāna (Brāhmaṇas/needy; groceries/food kits okay).
Optional: Crow/cow feeding; Peepal watering.
Śānta samāpanam (quiet close; touch elders’ feet).
13) Key Takeaway
For a Sanātanī, these are not optional cultural ornaments - they are roots anchoring us to Dharma, gratitude, and continuity. Even when perfect execution isn’t possible, sincere, simple observance with clean food, clean intent, and charity is far superior to doing nothing.